If Life is So Fair, Why Do Roses Have Thorns?
by No Username Needed
Summary: So many questions, and so little answers. *This is different than most of my stories, so criticism is welcomed.
1. Chapter 1

**Hmm I don't know what to say about this story. Also, my writing is a little different in this fic than most of my stories..**

**tee hee :-}**

**Enjoy?**

* * *

My name is Clare. Clare Diana Edwards to be exact. I'm 16 years old. I'm quite book-smart, but I'm not exactly what you call life smart or people smart. This is the reason why I am currently sitting on a cold, hard bench with my new step-brother.

"I can't believe you did this!" Jake harshly whispers. "I thought you were smarter than this."

I admit to him, whispering almost silently. "Me, too."

He shakes his head. "When Helen and my dad find out-"

"They won't." I cut him of matter-of-factly.

His forehead wrinkles with confusion at my sureness of this.

I reply. "We'll just lie and say we were studying at the library for the ACT coming up."

He sighs. "But I've already taken it."

I roll my eyes and sigh with annoyance at his stupidity. "Just say you're re-taking it, Jake."

He nodded, and a cop approached us with a pair of silver keys.

The bald, chubby police officer unlatches our handcuffs. "You two are free to go."

Jake and I stand. Jake speaks up and replies amiably. "Thank you, officer."

The man nods at Jake and looks at me, of course. "Ms. Edwards, please be careful with the people you associate with."

I gulp. "Y-yes."

.

.

.

.

"Oh my goodness! Clare! I'm so happy you're home! Dad's house wasn't working out?" My mom hugs me as soon as I step foot in the house.

Jake "locks" his mouth and "throws out the key". I mouth 'thank you' when mom doesn't look.

I nod at her. "Yeah. I missed home."

She grins. "Well, where have you two been? It's almost dinnertime." My mom interrogates us.

I speak up. "Jake and I were helping prepare each other for the ACT."

She smiles warmly at us. "Oh, I'm so glad you two are hanging out now. I guess this means you two are on good terms..?

I look at Jake and he smiles softly.

I smile and nod at my mom. "Totally. We talked it over and now everything's cool between us."

My mom changes the subject and we all head towards the kitchen. "So, who's craving Grandma Beth's Shepherd Pie?"

I sigh shakily as me, Glen, Jake, and my mom all sit down. "That sounds perfect, Mom."

I eat, laugh, and even smile a few times with my family but the officer's voice echoes and echoes over and over again in my head.

_"Ms. Edwards, please be careful with the people you associate with."_

_"Ms. Edwards, please be careful with the people you associate with."_

_"Ms. Edwards, please be careful with the people you associate with."_

My name is Clare Edwards. I am book-smart, but I'm not life nor people smart. And I still have much, much to learn. You want to know the worst part about this? Text books are useless in this field:

Life.

* * *

**I really really want to hear what you have to say - criticism and all. **

**Thanks for reading. :))**

**I shall update soon..**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ahh, I love that you guys are liking this story! Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy!**

**:)**

* * *

Have you had that feeling of complete, utter bliss like nothing could ever go wrong? Well, I haven't.

Hi there.. again. Like I said before, my name is Clare. I, Clare Edwards, am - at this very moment - just trying to find out why Degrassi's food chain is more brutal than the ocean's. Then again, I'm just a girl trying to figure out the meaning of life on this Earth.

"Clare, are you okay?" Adam rushes to my locker.

I bite my lip and sigh. "Who told you?"

"The news." He casually replies.

I groan and open my locker. "That's just awesome."

He doesn't know what to say; honestly, I wouldn't either. I mean, knowing me I would say:

"Hey! I'm so happy they didn't end up murdering you and chopping you up like a steak!"

"Don't worry. I'm sure a lot of people at Degrassi don't watch the news on a daily basis."

I smile. "Like you?"

He laughs, and I follow. We continue to talk; mainly, about homework, upcoming projects, and how Adam and Dave's radio show is going. Like any other usual cliche moment (story of my life), three super pretty girls walk by us and snicker. The tall, lanky girl with curly blonde hair laughs and says:

"Ooh, look a stowaway!"

They all laugh oh-so carefree, like those stupid, cheesy make up commercials.

I grin at Adam. "I guess even people with amazing social lives still find time to watch the local news."

Adam gives me a distraught look. "Maybe somebody will come out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to their shoe and everyone will forget about you."

I clutch my History book tighter. "Well, until then, I'm now known as a stowaway."

He opens his mouth to say a remark, but the first bell rings. Again, story of my life.

"History time." I smile sarcastically, and then frown and groan.

Adam shows me his stuff. "French time for me."

I smile and wave. _"Au revoir!"_

__Adam smiles back. "Ne crains pas."

"What?" I ask, perplexed.

He laughs to himself. "Of course, _you_ wouldn't get it."

I playfully punch his weak shoulder. "What! I'm fluent in French."

He walks off and mutters softly. "That's not what I meant."

_Ne crains pas?_

__And then strikes of "french" lightning bolts through my skin. No fear..wait. What does Adam mean no fear?

I mean, yeah, I'm scared. Scared of myself, other people, life, and many other things. But still. Adam was random saying that.

My name is Clare Edwards, and I'm making me a to-do list. First on the list: Make better friends.

And now second on the list: Get over my fears.

But how can I get over my fears?

As if God answers my prayers, I look at the concrete wall and see a poster.

_Want to take a risk? Love to try new things?_

_If the answer is yes, then join Degrassi's new club:_

_Horseback Riding!_

_When and where: 1st meeting on April 16 right after school._

_Who can come: Any one with a parent permission slip (get it at room 164)_

__I mentally raise my eyebrows and think. Horseback riding, huh?

My name is Clare Edwards, and I am gonna take a risk and try something new and that something is horseback riding!

* * *

**I hope you liiiiiked it! I shall update as soon as I can, same goes for my other stories.**

**~review, subscribe, whatever ya like.**

**Thanks,**

**No Username Needed. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoyy**

* * *

"Alright everyone take a seat." Mrs. Wellind, my art teacher, tells us all.

"Now you all came for a reason. I can only hope it's a genuine one, so anyone who isn't here to horseback ride needs to leave right now. If you're here to get away from your parents, hang out, or skip class because we'll be going to competitions and the farm time to time, then leave."

Some class clown gets up jokingly and sits back down.

"Alright then. Raise your hand if you've ever ridden a horse."

Less than half the class raises their hands.

"Okay, so we have a lot of beginners. That isn't bad, but we'll need to go over some things before we can go to the farm and start riding horses."

.

.

.

"How was horseback riding last night?" Adam approaches me.

I smile. "Interesting. Did you know horses are born with teeth?"

He looks at me funnily. "Um, no."

"Me neither until last night."

We open our lockers.

"So..how are you and Jake?" Adam asks me tentatively.

I frown. "Not good. He brought over Jenna last night for dinner."

Adam makes a face.

"Tell me about it." I mutter to myself mainly.

"Well, if it makes you feel better I caught Katie sucking Drew's di-" Adam shrugged and I cut him off and put my hands over my ears.

"Ew, now I'm sad _and_ grossed out."

I try to shake out all the images.

Oh, the images.

"Thanks a lot." I tell him and he awkwardly laughs.

"You're welcome. At least you weren't there."

I shake my head still recovering from shock. "Maybe you should learn how to knock."

He gets defensive. "I didn't hear anything when I did knock and bam! I open the door to see Katie's head on Drew's lap."

I sigh and close my eyes. "Gosh."

The high-pitched bell rings, signaling 3rd period will start in a few minutes.

"Well, I'll see you in class later." Adam smiles.

I wave as he walks to his class. "See you at lunch."

* * *

**Just a teeny tiny filler. Nothing special. But I do hope you at least liked it. :)**

**~read, review, subscribe, whatever you like~**

**~Love you guys!**

**No Username Needed.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yesterday was my last day of school, so I'm now in high school..oh shit.** **:O I'll try to update this story once a week; once I know my schedule for the summer, I'll decide what specific day. **

**Note: I won't be updating from June 1-6. I'll be at a mission trip.**

**Note #2 - Since I dunno if Degrassi has a counselor or what, I made one up.**

**Enjoyy!**

* * *

"Clare, come see me after class." The guidance counselor, Mrs. West, told me as I walked to my locker.

I nodded and continued on my way. Adam caught up with me.

"What's that about?"

I shrugged. "I have no clue."

He didn't say anything as we opened our lockers, which were conveniently next to each other. Mine was on the right of his.

"But I don't think it's good."

He looked at me and closed his locker after he grabbed his things.

"Clare, don't beat yourself up."

I ruefully blurted out.

"Why shouldn't I? My ex boyfriend lives with me and is dating my skanky ex-friend, Eli's happy with Imogen, you're happy, but _I'm_ not happy. Everyone else is happy but me."

I slid my back against my locker, slowly landing on my feet.

Adam shook his head. "Sometimes I think you want all of this." He referred to all the drama in my "wonderful" life. "There's people out in the world starving to death, and all you care about is your ex-boyfriend and some girl making out. That's so selfish, Clare."

I clenched my jaw, holding back tears. I growled.

"And who do you think you are? You just think you're so above everyone!"

He laughed bitterly. "No, no. Clare you already have that job covered."

I bit the inside of my cheeks, not saying anything.

He stormed off down the hall and submerged with the crowd of hustling students.

I sighed. Who knew Adam could be such a bastard?

I mentally rolled my eyes. The last thing I need right now is petty bull shit. And me selfish? Are you kidding me? The only one whose selfish is Adam for being so insensitive to my feelings. I mean, he knows that I'm not exactly haven't the best junior year. I groaned silently.

Must high school be so complicated?

_Apparently so._

__I sighed quietly as I opened my purse while walking in the opposite way of class.

"Who needs to learn Chemistry?" I asked myself aloud quietly, despite the absence of anyone else.

I walked out in the courtyard. I sat on the wooden bench by Degrassi's infamous memorial. I leaned my head against the glass wall, after I put my headphones on. I turned on my favorite playlist and hummed to myself subconsciously. I felt a tap on my shoulder; I took off my headphones and paused the catchy, pop song.

"I didn't take you for the kind that skips class." The eclectic dark-haired and brown eyed teen girl tilted her head, giving off a Lolita look.

I growled viciously. "I didn't take you for the kind that sticks your nose in my business."

She sniffled and began to tear up.

I sighed. "I-I'm sorry. I'm just not having a good day."

She sobbed. "I'll leave you alone then."

"Wait!" I stopped her and she turned around.

"What?" She asked, her tears stopped.

"At least let me buy you some lunch later."

She looked confused.

I sighed. "I could really use someone to talk to. I don't exactly have anyone else to talk to."

She nodded. "Sure." She squealed. "I just LOVE to listen!"

I grinned awkwardly.

"So does this mean we're friends?" She crossed her fingers as she eyed me.

I shrugged. "Why not."

She clapped and smiled wide. "Spectacular!"

Impulse taking over me, I asked. "Um..H-how's Eli?"

She shrugged. "He's fine, I guess." She smiled devilishly. "And single."

I shook my head and replied quickly, lying through my teeth. "No, I didn't mean it like that."

I thought for a minute and asked. "Wait, I thought you two were a thing?"

She sat down next to me. "Nah. We decided we liked being friends instead."

I nodded slowly.

She stood up. "Well, I better go. Ms. Oh will start to get suspicious if I'm not in there..like right now."

I smiled weakly. "Ok. See you at lunch."

She jumped up and down and began to pet her stuffed cheetah. "Ooh, can we go to The Dot?"

I replied. "If you want t-"

"Oh goody!" She cut me off. She opened the door and skipped down the hall happily.

I slipped my headphones on, and blasted the music.

My name is Clare Edwards, and I have no ideaa what i just get myself into. No idea.

.

.

.

I sneaked my way inside, acting like I was apart of students that just got of class. Remembering, what Mrs. West told me, I walked inside her office which was just about 5 doors or so away.

I knocked on the door.

"Come in!" She yelled.

I opened the door to see her spinning her chair to face me.

"Good. You remembered." She told me, but herself mainly.

I cleared my throat. "So what'd you want to talk to me about?"

She sighed and pulled out some papers from a drawer. She handed them to me and I read them.

"This has to be a mistake."

She shook her head. "I'm afraid not."

I wanted to scream at the very top of my lungs. How could this be happening? This of all things? Really?

"What am I supposed to do?" I looked at her as if she was insane.

"Well, I would recommend going to credit recovery after or before school, but there's a humongous waiting list so that's out of the picture. You could try to see if your teachers would give you some extra cred', but from the looks of it you can't ask someone if you barely show up."

I smiled awkwardly.

"I'm afraid if you don't keep up your grades and stop skipping you'll have to go to Summer school."

My mouth went agape. "That's so unfair! I'm in the honor's program! I don't deserve any of this. Do you mean another Clare because this isn't me that you need?"

She sighed. "You're getting pulled out of the honor's program. According to the eligibility rules, you can't make anything lower than a B on a report card."

"Where am I going to go for class? You can't just pull me out! I'm so used to my schedule now."

She handed me another piece of paper, ignoring everything I've been saying. Weren't counselors supposed to listen?

"Here's your new schedule."

I looked at the classes. All proficient? Chorus? Wood shop? Remedial English?

I looked at her. "I can't sing even if my life depended on it!"

She sighed. "These are the only classes left."

"I can't take these stupid classes! I'll be with a bunch of gross, sweaty boys in wood shop! And I don't even have a learning disorder! This English class will be way below my level!"

"Maybe you should've thought of that before your grades and hard work plummeted.

I ran out from her office and into the girl's bathroom which was empty. Angry, I punched the mirror causing it to shatter. Blood covered the remaining glass on the wall and my hand looked like it just came out of a blender.

I winced loudly from the pain. The stinging and blood running out wouldn't stop.

I heard the bathroom door open to reveal a blonde-haired, skank: Jenna.

She gasped and grabbed a bunch of paper towels, and pressed them against my hand.

I screamed loudly; the action caused some of the shards of glass to plunge deeper in my skin.

She screamed when she noticed more blood, which got on my khaki pants and her skirt and legs.

"We need to get help." She helped me up.

"The school nurse isn't here on Tuesdays." I informed her.

She mumbled. "Just our luck."

She walked me towards a classroom.

I stopped her from opening the door and whispered.

"No way I'm going in there!" I winced from the pain coming from my hand.

She ignored me and revealed us to a whole room of our peers; we were clad in blood.

My name is Clare Edwards, and this has to be the worst day of my life.

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Sorry if you didn't like OOC Adam and slightly OOC Imogen but it's my story! ;D**

**~With love and SUMMERRRRR time**

**No Username Needed**


	5. Chapter 5

***Updates every Monday for _Age is Just a Number, For This is the Path I'll Take, Imprisoned, Heads Will Roll (Hunger Games fanfic), Their Tragedy, , and If Life is So Fair Why Do Roses Have Thorns_.**

**Sorry if I forgot a story in the list. But I think I said everything.**

**Warning: Glen isn't like he is on the show..you'll see what I mean. :P**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Put some pressure on it dear." The Nurse tells me. She's wearing hello kitty scrubs, a messy bun, and a welcoming smile.

I sigh as I tightly place a wad of gauze against my hand, which is throbbing intensely.

"How did this happen?" She looks at me with care and tenderness in her almond shaped, hazel eyes.

I try lying casually. "Uh, I ran into the mirror..on accident."

She looks at me with obvious disbelief. "Clare, we both know that's a lie."

Not knowing what comes over me, I cry and cry and cry. Honestly, crying right now felt really and truthfully refreshing. As if the tears flowing out of my eyes, were representing pain and stress leaving me. Too bad that metaphor isn't true.

She sits down in front of me.

"You can tell me, okay Clare?"

I don't respond. I only keep sobbing, my hands covering my face.

After a minute, I sigh and nod at her.

I sniffle, talking against the palms of my hands.

"It's just.. a lot is going on right now."

She scoots her chair closer. "I'm sure it's all in your head. Sometimes we exaggerate things and make them way bigger than they are."

I shake my head and reveal my blotchy, makeup smudged face. "No it's bad."

"Tell me about it."

I oblige. "My mom's boyfriend is just being.. unbearable, my friends aren't exactly on my side, and I just got pulled out of the gifted program and into classes that suck."

She grins sadly. "That's hard."

I laugh bitterly. "Tell me about it."

She pulls out a tardy card from her desk. "Well, I know Mrs. Vaughn is a good listener. So I think it'd be good if you and her talked some."

I wipe mascara from under my eyes. "Thanks and all Ms. Owens but I need to go to class. I haven't been since I got at school."

She smiles softly. "I'll tell your teachers where you are."

I shake my head. "Can I just call my mom or something? I think it'd be best if I just went home."

She thinks for a minute and sighs. "I'm not allowed to do this considering you just wanna skip..but between me and you, you have a fever."

I smile. For once, someone was on my side. Not my Mom's, not Adam's, not Glen's.

_Mine_.

Ms. Owens steps out and I dial my mom's cell phone number.

"Hello?"

I grin sheepishly to myself. "Hey mom."

She groaned. "Clare? Why aren't you in class?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm in the nurse's office. I have a fever so can you or..Glen pick me up?"

She mutters. "Damn it Clare."

I bite my lip. "Mom.."

She sighs heavily. "I'll have Glen pick you up. I can't leave this meeting, Clare."

"Fine." My stomach drops to the floor.

She hangs up as if I was some stupid phone caller that was trying to advertise their company.

I bow my head and bring my knees to my chest. "I love you too, Mom."

.

.

.

I buckle my seat belt uncomfortably. Glen abruptly pulls out of the parking lot.

"Hey, Clare bear." He rubs my inner thigh.

I scoot towards the window. "Get away from me!"

"Oh, no thank you for picking your sorry ass up?" He yells.

"Thank you." I look at him, trying so hard not to punch the evil grin off his ugly face.

"How was school?" He asks, but he probably doesn't care.

"It was fine." I murmur against my knees.

He touches my thigh again and smiles. "I think I know a good remedy for fevers."

"Well, I know a remedy for sick fucks like you!" I slap him as hard as I could.

"GET OUT!" He yells loudly and unlockes the doors.

Despite the busy lunchtime traffic, I unbuckle my seat belt. "Gladly."

I stomp out of the car and near The Dot. As much as I hated to, I did promise Imogen lunch. I enter The Dot shortly and immediatly saw her eccentric figure.

"Ooh, Clare." She runs up to me and hugs me. "You didn't ditch me!"

I grin. "Yup, I'm right here."

She smiles showing off her straight pearly whites. We both walk up to the counter to order our food.

Imogen speaks up first. "I'd like a hamburger, no onions and no mayonnaise."

The cashier replies. "What side and drink?"

"Dr. Pepper and the mac-n-cheese."

"And you?" He turns toward me.

I flash a fake smile. "The chicken caesar salad and a sweet tea."

"Would you ladies like a bakery treat for 99 cents?"

"Can we get a brownie?" Imogen whispers, batting her eyes at me.

I continue showcasing my award-winning fake smile. "Sure."

"Alright, ladies your total is $14.32."

I hand him the money.

"It'll be out any minute." He smiles and walks off to assist other customers.

We sit down at a quaint booth.

"Thanks, Clare." She says to me in an unusual serious tone.

I genuinely smile. "It's the least I can do for being an ass. And I've been wanting to get to know you better anyway, even if you are Eli's ex-girlfriend."

She shudders.

"What? You didn't like him?" I tilt my head.

She shrugs. "It just weirds me out thinking about it. I'm so happy we're just friends now."

I nod. "I understand. That's why me and my 7th grade boyfriend Louis broke up."

She laughs. "Does he go to Degrassi?"

I blush for no actual reason. "Yeah. He's on the wrestling team, hockey team, and he sometimes does announcements on Degrassi Buzz (1)."

She nods slowly. "Oh! He sits near me in my Culinary class."

I grin. "Yeah, it's hard to miss Louis."

"Are you guys friends or is it totally awkward now?" She asks.

I shrug. "We don't talk much. He's too caught up in girls and sports." I laughed quietly at the end.

She nods intently.

"Order #21."

Imogen beams with delight. "That's us!"

I stand to get our things. I stroll to the counter to get our food, when I see a familiar face.

"Hey, Clare." He awkwardly grins.

"Hey, how are you doing Fitz?" I ask as I get our food.

"I'm doing really well actually." He replies.

I friendly smile at him. "What school do you go to now?"

"Right now I'm being home schooled, but I'm transferring to Degrassi this week."

Talk about a bomb.

I mentally gasp. "Wow! That's great but I thought you graduated already."

He shakes his head. "No. I'm a senior this year."

I nod flustered. "Well, I'm eating lunch with my friend so maybe I'll see you at school soon."

He nods. "See you."

I wave and head back to the cozy booth.

Imogen giggles as she soon as she sees me.. "Wow, Ms. Edwards you have _really_ exquisite taste."

I shake my head. "Oh, no he's just a friend.. only a friend. I swear."

She looks at me with pure disbelief.

"I swear!" I hold out a pinky.

She nods and we pinky promise.

"If I find out otherwise then you owe me one more lunch."

I smile. "Well, there's nothing to find out so sorry but I don't owe you anything."

We laugh together.

She eats her food. "Whatever you say Clare but friend or not he's still hot."

* * *

**I'm really pleased with the way this turned out, so hopefully you guys like it too. (Liking my writing is somewhat rare of me)**

**(1) Degrassi Buzz - You know the school news that comes on the TV? Yeah? Well, that's what I was talking about.**

**Expect Glen, Imogen, and Fitzy to come your way xD**

**Until then..**

**Review, subscribe, whatever you likeeee :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hope you like it:)**

**Note: This takes place the next day.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

With major annoyance mixed with frustration, I step in my new homeroom: regular English. I awkwardly slide in an empty seat in the back near a corner. I look around the room to see Jenna and some sophomores I know from Friendship Club. Jenna looks at me and crinkles her eyebrows, as if she couldn't believe her eyes. I smile embarrassed and she grins, turning to the front of the room.

The only good thing about this class is that Ms. Dawes teaches it also and my friend Nicole from church is in here two seats away from me.

"Pass your essays forward, class." She tells the class and, er, mostly everyone does. In my old English class everyone usually turns work in, unless they were absent. I awkwardly give the guy in front of me the guy behind me's paper.

"Oh, Ms. Edwards, can I see you after class?" Ms. Dawes asks me as she neatens a stack of worksheets, causing everyone's eyes to stare directly at me.

I blush at this and stammer. "Uh, s-sure."

"Great." She smiles. "Alright, everyone pull out your textbooks and flip to page 149."

.

.

.

I almost fall asleep, but the the bell wakes me up. Finally. Time. To. Go. Everyone rushs out the door with their things, but I walk up to Ms. Dawes's desk slowly.

"You needed to talk to me, Ms. Dawes?" I ask politely and as sweetly as possible.

She hands me a huge stack of papers. "Yes. Here's everything you need to know about this class, the syllabus, and the make up work from yesterday."

I nod and smile fakely, dreading to read and do (and carry) all this. "Okay."

* * *

"Hey, Clare. You're teaching the lesson tonight right?" Tyler from Friendship club asks me in the hall.

I sigh. "I don't know if I can."

He looks at me, disappointment is written all over his face. "C'mon, Clare. We need you. We have 4 special guests tonight from UT."

I nod, biting my lip. "Okay. I'll do it."

"Great. You're the best." He pats my shoulder and walks into the cafeteria with his friends.

_Friends..._

_ Must be nice to have them._

I sigh, feeling defeated, as I carry my paper sack of lunch to the same bench where I met Imogen. I sit down on the bench, shutting the glass door behind me. I turn on my iPod before I pull out the food out of the sack. I hit shuffle and reel out my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I sigh to myself as I chew the mushy sandwich. I hear the door open faintly (my music wasn't on very loud). I turn around to see Fitz hesitantly sit by me.

I pull out my headphones and put my iPod in my pocket. "Hey."

"Hey." He grins sheepishly.

I smile softly. "What's your schedule?"

He lets me look at a crinkled piece of paper. He mumbles. "Mainly electives, since it's senior year for me."

I nod. "Well, it appears that we have lunch and study hall together."

He smiles to himself. "That's cool. I'll have at least one person to talk to."

I tilt my head perplexed. "What about Bianca, Owen, and all of them?"

He shrugs. "I don't really talk to them anymore. We stopped hanging out after I quit smoking and doing drugs and the many things I did."

I smile. "That's amazing that you quit all of that."

He smiles wide, obviously proud. "Thanks. It was hard, but worth it."

I eat out of my mini bag of chips, while he continues to talk about a variety of things. Mainly his background.

It's really nice to have someone to talk to. I suppose it's nice for him to have someone listen as he vents.

"My mom took almost everything we had when she left. Our money. Our old house. She did all of that when I was only 9. Now it's only my Dad and me." He admits.

I sigh. "If it makes you feel any better, my Dad left us about a year ago and my sister has lived all the way in Kenya since freshmen year. So, I do understand what it feels like to barely have a family."

He looks at me sadly. "Clare, I never knew."

I shrug as I get up and recycle my trash. "That's because we never really hung out like this before."

He frowns. "A-are you still dating Eli?"

I laugh. "No. Um, we broke up at the end of my sophomore year after you, er, showed up."

He sighs. "I-I'm sorry."

I shake my head. "I'm over it, so it's whatever."

But he still doesn't look convinced.

I reassure him. "I dated someone right after him, so I'm over Eli."

He puts his hands in his pockets and mutters. "Okay."

I smile assuringly and hug my new friend unexpectedly. He flinches but accepts the hug. The hug wasn't sexual like most people would assume; it was friendly and comforting.

"See you in study hall." I wave as the bell rings obnoxiously.

* * *

"Thank you all for coming." Mrs. Linsley tells everyone once the meeting is over.

Almost everybody exits the room; some just stand and talk. I walk over to my friend Nicole to see her, Tyler, and Fitz talking.

"Hey." Nicole hugs me. "That was a really great lesson you did."

I smile. "Awe, thanks."

Tyler agrees with her. They say bye, and they walk off to find their mom's car outside. I turn to Fitz.

"I didn't think you were one for clubs." I giggle as I grab my back pack from the back of the classroom.

He shrugs. "There's a lot of things you don't know about me, I guess."

I smile. "Well, I hope you liked it and that maybe you decide to come next Monday and Friday. Do you still go to church?"

He nods and we walk outside together. "I go without my dad, though, so I don't know anyone except the priest."

I frown as I sit on the steps, waiting for stupid Glen. "Well, you can always go to church with me and my family."

He blushes lightly, but I ignore it, figuring he gets embarrassed talking about church. "I can't believe you're this nice to me, after what I did."

I grin sheepishly. "It's in the past, so why worry about it? What's done is done. And technically you didn't tell me to break up with Eli. I did it knowing what I was doing."

He didn't say anything.

I read a new text message on my phone.

_I can't pick you up._ _Stuck at Jake's hockey game.__  
_

_-Glen_

I groaned. I'm so sick and tired of his freaking bullshit.

"What's wrong?" Fitz asks, genuinely concerned.

I bite my lip. "My mom's boyfriend bailed on me, so I guess I should walk before it gets even darker than it is."

I start to walk off, but Fitz stops me.

"Hey, I have a car, you know? I-I can just take you home if you want."

I shake my head and lie. "It's fine. It's not even that long of a walk. And I could use the exercise.."

He grabs my arm gently. "Clare, it's fine. My house goes in that direction anyway."

I wince and let go of his hold. Images from last night flash before my eyes, and I tear up right away. I don't even try to stop the tears from flowing. Who cares anymore?

He apologizes rapidly. "Clare, I'm so sorry. I didn't know I was hurting you. I-"

"Just don't touch me." I whimper then run out of the parking lot.

"Clare!"

I ignore him. I run out of sight of Degrassi, scared that he might come after me. I slow down once I realize that he isn't behind me, no one is. I look at my watch and see that it's 5:27. Since it's Winter, it's dark out already. I zip up my jacket, wishing the frostbiting wind would quit blowing. I cross my arms and continue to walk towards my house, which is 4 miles away. I guess it's not that long, but considering it's cold, dark, and I'm walking it'll take me some time to get home.

My name is Clare Edwards. And i have learned a valuable lesson in life these high school years of mine. Sometimes I think KC, Glen, Eli, and now Fitz are just spirits trying to teach me one good lesson. (Listen up ladies!) Too bad I learned the hard way that..

You should never, ever, no matter what the circumstances, are trust boys. Whether or not they're tall, skinny, dumb, whatever, all they want to do is hurt you. And boy am I hurt..

* * *

**As you can probably see, Clare has a - just gonna be blunt here- fucked up way of thinking. As you hopefully continue to read this, you'll understand why. It's all about how she's grown up, what's happened to her, etc. **

**I realize this fic reallyyyy OOC, considering if Fitz was still on the show, I higholy doubt Clare would actually give him the time of day to talk to him. And many more reasons that I'm too lazy to write.**

**So yeah...**

**I worked on this for like 4 hours, so I'm gonna stop writing now, K? :D**

**Read, review, subscribe, whatever ya likee.**

**~With *majorr* love**

**No Username Needed**


	7. Chapter 7

**As you may tell, I don't think I'll be updating every Monday. I'll just update when I can. :P**

**Enjoy**

* * *

I unlock the front door, very irritated. I step in the warm house and hang my jacket on the coat hanger. I slowly walk to the kitchen to find a post it note on the kitchen.

_We'll be home at 9._

_-Mom _

I sigh heavily. It's on the verge of being 7:00. At least I have the whole house to myself, I suppose. I open the fridge, scanning all around for leftovers. I pull out last night's lasagna. I place a small serving on a plate and heat it in the microwave.

My phone rings. Without looking at the caller ID, I answer it.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hey." Adam replies.

I bite my lip. "What do you want?"

He sighs. "I just wanted to ask you're doing."

I roll my eyes. "Better without you and your bullshit. Now goodbye."

I hear him scoff, before I hang up.

I groan as I carry my plate to the living room. Well, at least I don't have to worry about Jake being an asshole, Glen being Glen, and Mom sticking up for the two of them.

I turn on the TV and decide to watch some most-likely scripted, annoying game show. Maybe I can get a laugh out of it.

My phone buzzes, alerting that I have a new text. My heart skips a beat as I read it. Just when I thought this night would be almost _not_ a pain.

_Hey, I know you probably won't respond to this but I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry and that I feel like you're hiding something. Please text back._

_-Fitz_

I lick my chapped bottom lip as I text back. I guess I can just give him a second chance. It's not his fault I have bruises all the way up to my arm.

_It's okay. I was being over dramatic earlier. And no, I'm not hiding anything. I promise :)_

_-Clare_

He quickly responds.

_Okay. I'm just worried that's all. I got to go. See you._

_-Fitz_

Despite me being happy that I'm finally alone, I feel..disappointed?

Ugh.

.

.

.

"I can't believe we actually won!" Jake boasts.

I roll my eyes, trying to ignore my "family". I try to sneakily go upstairs, but they catch me.

"How was Friendship Club, Clare?" My mom asks, smiling.

I shake my head, disgusted at her. "Great, until your stupid boyfriend bailed on me. I mean, god forbid, he can't miss 20 minutes of a shitty hockey game! Do you realize how long 5 miles is in the freezing cold at _night_? I could've been _raped_ for all you people care!"

My mom tears up at the choice of words I used. Ever since Darcy's situation, she can't hear that word without crying.

Jake scoffs. "You're just a self centered bitch, Clare. All you care about is yourself!"

I gasp and run over to him, anger running through my veins. "You and your damn dad are the whole reason that I'm a bitch! How could I not be when I have you walking butt ass naked through _my_ house and your dad always ruining my plans! Why don't you just go back to wherever the hell you came from?"

My mom turns to me. "Clare Diane Edwards, watch your mouth!"

I groan loudly, not caring who heard. "Jake always cusses around the house, so why don't you ever say anything to him?"

My mom scolds me. "Because he is not my kid!"

Jake laughs at us, as he bites an apple. Glen comes over in the living room, which really sets me off like a dynamite.

"Why do you even date this pig, Mom?" I point at Glen as I look at my mom.

She sighs. "Clare, just go upstairs please."

"Oh, it's just like you to choose a guy over your own kids. I know what went on with Paul you who-"

She slaps my left jaw. I bite my lip and run out the house with my purse. I slam the door behind me.

_Off to The Dot I go._

.

.

.

I slurp my vanilla milkshake, wishing I didn't have to go back home after this. If only I could stay over at a friend's house. I glance to my right to see Adam and Eli talking. Adam looks over at me and I quickly turn away, pretending it didn't happen. Adam walks over, leaving Eli.

"Hey. Wanna come sit with us? We could use your math skills."

I don't say anything. I continue to drink my milkshake.

He touches my cheek and I scoot further away from him.

"What's this bruise?"

I mumble under my breath. "It's nothing."

He sighs. "Clare was it Jake?" He grumbles. "That bastard. When I see him tomorrow-"

I smile to myself at Adam's concern for me but shake my head. "No. It wasn't Jake."

"So it is something?" Adam asks.

I roll my eyes. "I called my mom a whore and this happened." I point to my now blue-ish purple cheek.

He laughs softly. "Well, she took a good swing."

I shrug.

"Come on! Help me with math, pwease?" He begs.

I laugh as he pulls my wrist, hiding the pain. "I gotta go, Adam. I'll help you before school, okay?"

"Meet me here at 7." He told me.

I nod and he smiles.

My name is Clare. Clare Edwards to be exact. Maybe I can trust. Maybe, just maybe.

And maybe I'll be able to forgive and forget. Probably not the forget part though. I guess I'll have to see for this one..

* * *

**Hope you liked it! So, Adam and Clare are rekindling their friendship. (Yay! :D)**

**Yeah..**

**Read, review, subscribe, whatever ya likeee : )**


	8. Chapter 8

**I hope you like it!**

**Enjoy**

* * *

The horse, Pepper - he's named after his spotty black-ish grey coat - neighs and I squeal in pure delight. Who knew horseback riding can give you such an adrenaline rush?

We circle around the fenced in field, along with other people in the club and their horses. I direct him to the right with the rein , where he decides on his own to stop under a big, shady tree. I guess he needed to cool off from trotting.

I pet his head and he seems to enjoy it. I giggle, satisfied with my choice of joining this club. It's gotten me out of my awful related arts class, Choir, quite a few times so far. I didn't sign up to cut class, but it is a bonus I take advantage of to the fullest.

"It's time for him to eat." One of the instructors who co-owns the farm reminds me. The man looks like he's in his 20s. He has shiny, curly brown hair, hazel eyes, and a farmer's tan. He's wearing a warm brown jacket, a green polo that reads _"Napier Farms"_ - it even has a logo of a small brown horse - and worn out jeans. Despite his laid back, messy attire he sure is attractive.

I grin nervously. "Okay."

"Here I'll help you walk him." He tells me.

I smile thankful for his help. "Thanks. I-I'm not used to having to walk him around without help."

He smiles. "No problem."

We enter the heated barn, which is used as a horse stable. We walk down the aisle and put Pepper in his assigned stall. I lock the door, so he can't run off to who knows where. We'd probably never see him again. That would not make a happy Clare.

"Do you need help feeding him?" The handsome instructor asks.

I shake my head as I fill Pepper's drinking bucket with fresh water. "Thanks, but I think I got it."

He nods and walks back on the field. "Well, I'll be around if you need me Clare."

I place the heavy bucket shakily in the holder. A thirsty Pepper drinks the water so rapidly, that he makes a slurping noise. I laugh. I grab Pepper's empty food bowl to refill it. Before I leave, I make sure he is locked in and he is. I walk to the middle of the barn where all the horse food is stored. Because of recent kidney stone surgery, he has to eat a special diet. I open the smelly container and scoop him 3 pounds of feed. I walk back to his stall and he neighs happily when he notices me with food.

"Are you hungry?" I ask. I place the bowl carefully in his holder. He leans his head in the bucket and I laugh at how much of a messy eater Pepper is.

I hear someone behind me and see Jenna walking her horse Ashleigh into her stall, which is directly left of Pepper's.

She grins. "This reminds me so much of my Grandma's farm in Tennessee. I had a horse there named Ponnie."

I giggle. "Ponnie?"

She shrugs. "I was 8 when I named her."

I look at Jenna to see her brushing Ashleigh's light brown mane.

I grab a carrot from Pepper's "stash" and feed him it. Grateful (and hungry), he eats every bit - even the green, grassy part!

"Gosh, you eat like a pig." I mutter and as if he heard me he neighs back.

Jenna joins in. "Don't listen to her, Pepper."

He neighs and wags his tail, swatting away flies.

I chuckle softly.

"So, how are you and Jake?" I suddenly ask.

"Good. We're going on a date this Friday to the movies. Are you okay with it?" She asks nervous for my answer.

I feel bad. Now every time they hang out or go somewhere she always makes sure of it.

I tell her reassuringly. "Jenna, you don't have to ask for my permission whenever you go out with him. You're his girlfriend, not mine."

She laughs at the end and looks at me. "Thanks."

A few minutes pass between us, as we both clean and groom our horses.

She groans. "I'm so hungry that I could eat a horse.

Both of the horses neigh simultaneously.

I smirk. "I think they heard you, Jenna."

* * *

I smile when the lunch bell rings. Ever since Fitz has transferred back in Degrassi, me and him eat lunch together on the bench near the JT Yorke memorial. If it rains, we eat in the hallway, instead.

Today's different apparently. Instead of eating and sitting with him, I sit alone. It's halfway through lunch, so I assume he isn't coming by which is fine. I want him to hang out with other people besides me. I don't want him to feel like he's being tied down by me. That wouldn't be fair to him. It's his senior year. He deserves to live it to the fullest, whether or not it's with or without me.

Today I have so much homework due later today that I can't eat my lunch. I have to finish, so I don't fail my classes again. If I fail again, my mom will have to have a meeting with the principal. And me being the smart girl I am, I know that'll only cause her to be Team Jake.

I didn't do my gigantic pile of homework last night, because of _him_. It's my fault; I could've screamed or pushed him off of me but I didn't. I let it happen. So, therefore, I deserved it.

I especially shouldn't have let my issues get in the way of school. I told myself this on the first day of Freshmen year. Despite it, I have failed miserably at this goal I set for my supposed-to-be-great high school years.

I sigh as my hand grows sore. I drop the pencil on the paper and twist my hand a little to help ease the pain. Even though I didn't want to, I start the Algebra 2 work again. After a few minutes, I finish the whole worksheet. But no, I'm not done. Now I have part 2 - a Canadian History packet. This is a piece of cake though, because I took this class last year AND it's still taught by Mr. Perino.

Someone knocks on the glass window behind me, and I almost jump out of my seat. I turn around and see him smirking. I roll my eyes as he comes outside.

"Hey, can we talk?" Eli sat next to me.

I keep my eyes glued to my work. "Make it quick."

He stammers. "Um, h-has Fitz done anything to hurt you Clare?"

I look at him, confused. "No, he's great. I appreciate the concern, but what do you care?"

He shrugs. "I just don't think you should be involved with him. He's very manipulative."

I roll my eyes and bark. "What do you think you were when you crashed your stupid hearse just because I wouldn't go to a trip with you?"

He clenches his jaw and he whispers harshly. "I've changed, Clare. I've gotten help for my Bipolar and OCD. But Fitz? Not even an intervention would help a _killer_ like him."

Before I can say anything, he stomps off inside. I slump against the glass wall, frustrated because of Eli and the fact that lunch ends in three minutes. I have a whole packet to do and study hall might not be enough time. Well, I can just rush through it, if worse comes to worst.

My name is Clare Edwards and I wish certain people would care less, and others would simply care more.

* * *

"Imogen." I say as I tap on the quirky senior's shoulder.

She smiles. "Hey. I haven't seen you in the halls any."

I shrug. "Well, I've been here."

She laughs. "Hopefully not skipping anymore."

I nod. "I'm not."

We walk out to the front steps of Degrassi. I sit and she sits promptly after she sees me sitting. Fiona Coyne, possibly Degrassi's prettiest girl, came out and kissed Imogen smack dab on the lips. Imogen kissed back. Knowing I was sitting right here, they pulled away.

I blush lightly. I never knew Imogen was a lesbian, let alone dating Fiona Coyne.

I shyly ask. "How long have you two been together?"

"Today's our one month anniversary, so if you don't mind.." Fiona pulls Imogen by her arm from the steps.

I giggle. "Have fun you two."

Imogen blushes at this and Fiona wiggles her eyebrows.

I shake my head and laugh to myself as they get in Fiona's obviously customized, baby blue mustang. Taking me by surprise, Jake drives in front of me.

"I'm taking you home today." He grumbles as he unlocks his red pick up truck.

As much as I'd rather walk home, I get in the truck. Since it's so high from the ground, it's hard for me to get inside. When I do, I shut the door and buckle up. He drives out of Degrassi.

He doesn't bother looking at me, so I decide to break the ice.

"How was school?" I ask, hoping he wouldn't have a snarky answer.

"Fine, Mom." He replies.

I almost smile. I change the subject, to make things hopefully less awkward and tense in the truck.

"I talked to Jenna Wednesday at horseback riding about you and her." I told him.

This caught his attention. "What'd you say?"

I bit my lip. "I told her straightforward that she's your girlfriend so she doesn't need to have permission from me to go somewhere with him."

He parks in the driveway and looks at me with a _smile_.

_It's been so long.._

__"Thanks, Clare."

I grin. "It's the least I could do for yelling at you two at dinner like a maniac."

* * *

My phone rings in my pocket at the table and I pull it out. I decide to answer it, since it looks familiar , but my mom stops me.

"You know the rule, Clare." She eyes me.

I bite my lip. "It might be important.

"You're excused." She tells me.

I answer the phone and go on the front porch. "Hello?"

"Clare, Adam and Bianca got in a car crash on the way home from school! I hurt Adam again! I'm the one who let them go to the store for ice cream!" Drew yells all in one breath.

"Drew! Calm down. Just breathe. Are they okay?" I ask trying to stay calm for Drew's sake.

He calms down and replies. "Bianca just has some bruises and cuts but Adam has a broken leg, so he'll be on crutches for a month or two."

My heart falls, when I hear about Adam's leg. "Is he allowed to have visitors?"

He responds and I hear faint crying in the background. "Yeah, he actually asked me to call you."

I smile at that. "Okay, I'll be there."

I hang up and walk back inside.

"Mom, Adam got in a car wreck and he broke his leg. He wants me up there, so can I go?" I ask politely so she might say yes, but inside I'm panicking.

She frowns at the news. "Sure. Do you need me to drive you?"

I shake my head. "It's down the road."

She nods. "Tell him I hope he feels better."

.

.

.

"Adam." I rush in the room.

He grins. "Hey. Thanks for coming."

I smile and hug his upper half of his body, hoping it didn't hurt. It doesn't, because he hugs back.

"I'm glad you're okay." I told him.

A doctor comes in and asks Adam if he needs some pain meds for the drive home.

"No, I'm fine." He insists.

The doctor leaves and I look at his leg.

"You want to sign it?" He grabs a sharpie from his school bag, which was apparently in the car when they crashed.

I nod and take the red sharpie. I write "_Clare loves you :)"_. Of course, we both know I mean a friendship kind of love, not love-love.

His mom, Drew, an a stitched-up Bianca come in to get Adam.

"We're checking out." His mom informed him.

Adam grabbed a hold of his crutches and stood them.

"Shoot. I need to get my bag." He mumbles.

Instead of him having to risk falling and hurting himself even more, I carry it for him.

"Thanks." He mumbles, hating the fact that he has to depend on people even more than before.

We all walk out the hospital. The Torres' and Bianca get in Mrs. Torres' white van. I start to walk off, when Mrs. Torres rolls her window down.

"Clare, do you need a ride home?" She assured me. "I don't mind."

I see Adam nodding in the back, wanting me to say yes.

I nod. "If you don't mind, I'd really appreciate."

She unlocks the car and I sit with Adam in the back. He looks at his cast.

"This is the best day of my life." He tells me.

I laugh. "Um, what?"

He explains. "When girls see this cast, they're going to feel bad and ask me what happened. And then they'll sign it, and if they're really sympathetic they might even write their number. It's a win-win. I get girls and they get me."

I laugh and hit him on the head, not too hard of course. "You're insane."

My name is Clare Edwards. Today may not have been perfect, but it's a start. Jake actually smiled at me for once, Adam and I are back to normal, and so far I haven't had any drama with my mom today. Sure, you're probably thinking "Fitz bailed on you. Shouldn't you be upset?". Well, I say no. He could've been busy like me or something could've came up. I'm not going to react without full understanding. I can only wait for the truth to prevail.

* * *

**I hope you liked the Eli/Clare drama, Adam/Clare friendship, and Jenna/Clare/Jake all being on relatively good terms. **

**I'm gonna quit writing pointless stuff because I haven't been writing almost all day. :)**

**~With Love**

**No Username Needed**


	9. Chapter 9

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I slam my locker and look at Fitz, who looks like shit - just being honest. His eyes are puffy and bloodshot and he looks like he just rolled out of bed.

"Hey, where were you yesterday?" I ask, hoping I'm not coming off nosy.

He shrugs. "No where."

I laugh softly. "Alright, Mr. Mystery."

He gags and covers his hand over his mouth. He runs out of sight and I stand at my locker all confused. I mentally sigh as I grab my English book. He must have a hang over. I slam my locker and turn around, heading in the direction of Ms. Dawes's room when my face practically hits Adam's.

I gasp but recover from my mini - heart attack. "Shit, Adam."

He laughs. "My bad."

I eye his cast. "Does it still hurt?"

He smiles slightly. "A little, but not much. The chicks dig it though."

I roll my eyes. "Only you Adam..only you."

He asks me, quickly changing the subject. "Have you seen Eli?"

I shake my head. "No and I don't really care where he is."

Adam frowns. "I thought you two were friends now."

I scoff as we walk down the hall in sync. "Please. He's being his usual annoying, asshole self."

Adam sighs, taking Eli's side. "Well, you are bff's with his arch nemesis."

I groan, annoyed with this conversation. "It was a year ago. Who cares? Eli, of all people, should know that people can change."

Adam crosses his arms over his books awkwardly. "I-I agree with Eli.. no offense Clare but it's shady that you're hanging out with a guy that threw me against a glass door. And the guy that almost stabbed Eli and broke into your house."

I bite my lip. "He didn't break into my house."

Adam muttered to himself. "Yeah, because you let him inside."

I bite my tongue, and try to keep quiet.

Adam continues, causing me to crack. "But it's okay because it was raining, right Clare?"

I roughly push him by his broken arm against a locker. A loud bang echoes throughout the busy hallway, and everyone looks over. I ignore them and Adam's wincing though.

"Ever thought that it could be your mouth that gets you in trouble, Adam?" I continue to tightly hold him against his will. I smile mischievously at his pleads for me to stop.

"Is he giving you trouble Clare?" Fitz appears from the boy's washroom.

I shake my head as I let go of Adam, causing him to slump down the locker. "Not anymore."

I walk off with my only, true friend and laugh when I hear Eli and Adam talking.

"What are you laughing about?" Fitz asks me, smiling.

I smile to myself. "Nothing."

* * *

"I hate them." I tell Fitz.

He shrugs. "They just don't understand..us."

I laugh. "Us?"

He blushes. "You know what I mean."

I smile as I eat my lunch and put my brown sunglasses on, hiding my eyes from the sun.

"I wish they would shut up." I whisper sadly.

He sighs. "Just ignore them."

I sigh frustrated. "I can't."

He sits next to me.

I lean my head against his chest and sniffle. "It just hurts me when I hear people saying things like that about you."

He hushes my tears. "I'm a big boy. I can handle it, Clare."

I sit up and giggle. "I'm sorry..I'm always so emotional."

He yawns. "Don't be sorry."

I smile. "Have I told you that you like shit today?"

He laughs. "Only 20 times."

I laugh. "You've been throwing up all day and you can't keep your eyelids open."

He sighs. "What can I say? Hang overs suck."

I make a face. "I don't know how people can drink beer. It's gross."

He licks his chapped lips. "At first it is..but you get used to it." He looks at me. "Wait, how would you know what beer tastes like?"

I giggle. "I'm not the sheltered person everyone thinks I am, I guess."

He doesn't say anything back. I look over at him to see him staring at me.

"What?" I mutter.

I feel his lips press against mine, so I quickly stand up.

"Umm.. I need to go to my locker..yeah." I frantically make up a lie.

I leave before even more awkwardness can ensue. I head to my locker without looking back.

My name is Clare Edwards, and what the hell just happened?

* * *

**I hope you liked it! Hope it's not too rushed or anything.**

**~read review subscribe whatever ya likee:)**

**~With LOVE**

**No Username Needed**


	10. Chapter 10

**Enjoy!**

**Note: Important A/N at the end of chapter regarding my Fall schedule (school starts August 1 for me..blehhhh).**

* * *

Nervously (and on purpose), I pass _our_ usual lunch spot. I look outside of the wall of a window to see Fitz already eating his lunch without me. I slowly walk over towards the sheet of glass. I press my left pointer finger and middle finger against it, contemplating whether or not I should confront my friend - whatever he is now. My fingertips slowly slide down making a faint squeaking noise.

Fitz doesn't seem to flinch by this. Thank god. With hesitance, I languidly grip the cold doorknob with my left hand. I carefully turn it, to open the door that leads to the memorial spot, when I hear someone squeal "boo" right behind me.

I gasp and turn around to see my quirky, eccentric acquaintance Imogen.

"Dammit, Imogen." I mutter under my breath, though I was the least bit of annoyed. Uneasy was a better word to describe me right now.

She giggles. "I wanted to see if I could scare you."

I head for my locker, which is just a few feet away, assuring her in the process. "Well, you did so congrats."

I hear Imogen's famous card-themed, high heel Mary Janes click behind me frantically. (1)

"Wait up!" She shrieks.

I stop at my locker, unlocking it.

_21,_

_..30,_

_..16._

I open my locker, about to pull out my lunch box, when I unintentionally look over at Fitz, to see him still sitting alone. I push my lunch box to the back of my locker and slam my locker shut.

"Want to head to The Dot? We still have 40 minutes, until class starts." I smile friendly at Imogen.

She claps her hands and jumps up down, making her high-low khaki skirt (don't ask me how Simpson _doesn't_ write her up for being somewhat out of dress code) bounce up and down, along with more high pitched clicking noises from her shoes.

"Oh! Yay! I'll go grab my wallet!"

* * *

"Hey, Clare." Eli calls me over.

I roll my eyes, wanting to run away from the sight of him. Yet my feet stay put.

"What do you want now?"

He sighs, but seems unaffected by my irritation-related question.

"I just wanted to ask if you'd mind writing an article about Drama Club needing new members."

I nod. "Fine, but only for the sake of Degrassi."

He bites his lip nervously. "A-are you okay? You seem off."

I smile sadly, surprisingly with no anger this time. Just remorse.

"No, not really. Maybe you could lend me some of those pills you take."

He smirks and chuckles, probably shocked that I wasn't barking like a dog at him.

"Very funny."

We hear a honk from outside, which happens to sound like my mom's van. I look out the glass door to see it is.

I head outside. "See you."

And with that I slam the front lobby doors. Only to see a pissed off Glen in the driver's seat of my mom's van. "Bella" must be acting up again.

_Great. I should've just stuck with Eli and his motorcycle._

I bite my lip, wishing I had another ride. Heck, at this point I'd hitch a ride in the Flintstone's car. I feel like I'm about to throw up when I open the door.

"Hi." I whisper meekly, trying to make the best of the situation. I shut the door behind me and buckle myself in. He drives off and out of the parking lot faster than you could say "onomatopoeia". I begin to feel a migraine from car-sickness coming on. To make matters worse, Glen begins

He groans. "Damn traffic. I hate coming up here to pick you up."

I mutter inaudibly. "That makes two of us."

He appears to not hear it, as he continues to drive way over the speed limit. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. Reluctantly, I pull it out and read a new text message.

_Hey. You okay? Didn't see you any today._

_-Fitz_

I sigh grimly. What was I supposed to say? That he freaked me out with that out of the blue kiss; so I bailed on him at lunch and skipped study hall _just_ so I wouldn't have to see him - and his reaction to my absence from lunch.

Although honesty is the best policy, this is one of the exceptions.

_Time to pull out the sugar. _I think to myself.

I lie in my reply to Fitz.

_I'm fine. I had to leave early today, so that's why you didn't see me. What'd I miss?_

_-Clare_

It only takes a minute or so for me to hear from him. I open my phone, only to see it's not from Fitz. Instead, it's Adam texting me for help.

_Hey! I could use your awesome writing skills right now. Ms. Dawes is making us write a 5 page short story that has to include some weird theme she chose. Ugh. :P Can you swing by my house? It'll only take half an hour at the most. :)_

_-Adam_

I look over at Glen. Without question, I know he and my mom won't let me go anywhere tonight. It's Wednesday; therefore, I have to spend all night at church learning lessons I already know. And if anyone needs a heavy dosage of church, it's my family. So I regretfully respond to Adam's plead for my company.

_I have to go to church tonight. Maybe Eli can help you? He's always been a better creative writer than me._ _I'm really sorry. :(_

_-Clare_

My phone buzzes; this time, it's Fitz.

_Not much. I missed you though. _

_-Fitz_

I make a guilty face but reply anyway.

_Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye._

_-Clare_

Right after I hit send, I receive a new text from Adam.

_Eli's with his Dad picking out a new car. Hopefully this time he won't crash it for you lol. But it's okay. Katie's over hanging out with Drew and she's on the newspaper so maybe she can help..? Don't feel bad though. :)_

_-Adam_

I close my phone, not bothering to type out an answer. I slump in my seat, wishing at times like this I didn't get such a guilty conscience. I look out the window, mainly so I don't have to look at Glen, watching the car pull into the driveway.

Phew. We made it home without a pointless heated argument, me walking home, or even a slap in the face. Miracles do exist. As soon as the ignition turns off, I open the door and basically run inside. Not bothering to look behind me. Thankfully, the front door is unlocked. I open the door with ease. My mom's cooking enters my nostrils, like a huge gust of wind.

"Hope you're craving tacos tonight, sweetie." My mom yells from the kitchen.

* * *

"Wasn't that just amazing how Reverend Douglas connected Psalm 23:4 with daily life?" Nicole asks me, her question dripping with awe over tonight's study. Even when we were in 6th grade, she'd always got over-excited with anything to do with church. I'm not saying that's or anything though.

"Yeah." I halfheartedly agree with my peppy friend. As we leave the chapel, I scan our church's parking lot for the truck. I gnaw the inside of my cheek, when realization sweeps over. I couldn't find that god forsaken truck. I mentally shrug to myself once I remember what my mom said to Jake and I earlier. She'd leave to get supplies for the nursery while we were here. She should show up in a maximum of 10 minutes, so I have plenty of time to just relax for a change.

Nicole tells me that she'll see me tomorrow at school, so we exchange hugs and wave off.

_Great. Now I'm alone..as usual._

I sit down at one of the church's empty picnic tables. I start to text my mom, asking her where she is, when I feel someone sit across from me. I look up and my eyes meet Fitz. I put my phone away and interrogate him, accidentally coming off rather harsh.

"What are you doing here?"

He smiles crookedly at my tone, shrugging as he responds to my unintentional rudeness. "I figured I'd try this kind of church out. I didn't really like my old catholic church."

I blush, feeling bad for sounding so mean. I apologize.

"Oh. Sorry. Um, you just scared me."

He bites his lip nervously. "Sorry."

I shake it off and change the topic. "So how'd you like it?"

He responds, talking an octave higher with the last word. "It was good."

I snort. "You don't have to lie. I know my church is super boring and _way_ over the top traditional."

He lightens up, nodding. "Yeah."

I look at him, watching him awkwardly sit there; barely looking me in the eyes.

"Why'd you kiss me yesterday?" I ask him, my curiosity getting the best of me.

He blushes and scratches his neck, obviously embarrassed about it. I fully realize this when he doesn't answer at first.

I stand up and walk over to the other side of the table. I sit next to the distraught boy. I hesitantly look at him, to see his cheeks are not as pink, and reassure him as I place my hand comfortingly just above his knee.

"It's okay..I-I just want to know."

He finally makes eye contact with me. His stare is so intense, I swear I look like a deer in headlights.

"Clare..I've liked you ever since I laid eyes on you junior year." He continues. "That's part of the reason I had it for Eli. Because he had you..and I didn't."

I feel heat rise from my face, meaning I'm as red as a ripe tomato.

"I get it if you don't feel the same way." He adds. "I just don't want this to ruin our friendship..you're the only friend I have."

I smile as I inch closer to his face. I whisper to him and finally confess to not just him, but myself too.

"I don't want to be your friend."

Before he can respond, I collide my lips with his, forgetting that I'm 10 feet away from my church's chapel. But I couldn't care less. Fitz's hands gently held on to me just below my waist, and they slid down barely an inch. I pressed my hands against his clothed chest, remembering _Cosmopolitan _wrote and stated it made a kiss even better.

We pull away from each other's lips for air. I look down at the grass, wondering what this meant. Fitz spoke up.

"Wow," He exhales. "I've been dreaming of this moment forever."

I look up at him and smile lopsidedly.

He asks. "So what does this mean?"

I ponder the question.

_What does this mean?_

My name is Clare Edwards, and I hope this is the next step. Not just for Fitz and I. Not just for me. But for my life in general.

Because maybe happiness does exist, after all.

* * *

**Even if you're a die hard Eclare fan like myself, I hope you enjoyed.**

**I'd love to hear your feedback and thoughts on this. :)**

**Reviews?**

**A/N - As you might know from a previous A/N I wrote (don't remember which story/stories it was in), this is my first year of high school. (Yay?)**

**I'll be taking all honors except for one AP class, so starting early August I won't be able to update like I have been this Summer. On top of that I'm moving into a new house, so I'm going to be packing and getting situated. **

**I'll have loads of homework from my honors/AP classes, packing, and life in general to deal with. So considering the following, I'll probably only be updating on weekends. I'll just have to see how everything will go :)**

**~With Love,**

**No Username Needed**


	11. Chapter 11

**I am so sorry for not updating this story, along with every other incomplete story of mine!**

**~Announcement at the end~**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"You kissed Fitz?"

Imogen's mouth drops.

My face falls at her surprised tone. "I-is that bad?"

She shakes her head. "No."

I bite my lip. "Imogen, please don't lie to me."

She sighs and closes her Pre-Calculus textbook. She puts it inside her black and red oversized purse.

"It's just that..a lot of people still hold a grudge for Fitz-"

I cut her off. "Do you?"

She looks down at the ground. "That's besides the point."

I don't say anything; instead, I let her continue.

"So when they find out that you and Fitz are a thing now.." She trails off.

"Im, tell me."

She gnaws the inside of her cheek indecisively.

"Imogen!" I whine.

"They'll think that you had something to do with the knife scenario! Okay!"

I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my left ear. I stand up and grab my backpack to leave.

_Is Imogen right?_

"Clare, wait!"

I ignore Imogen's plead for me to stay. I was in no mad at Imogen and what she said, but I can't say that I don't believe her. I shut the door behind me and head for Fitz's 3rd period.

I practically run to room 203, otherwise known as Mr. Perino's room. I finally reach the other side of campus and open the door. All eyes lay on me, including Fitz's.

"Mr. Perino, Principal Simpson needs to see Mark."

Every pair of eyes that were once on me land on Fitz. Reluctantly, Mr. Perino exhales deeply.

"Alright."

Fitz slides out of his chair and trudges outside in the hall, ignoring the whispers amongst the room. I shut the door and he immediatly asks why Simpson needs to see him.

"He doesn't." I say.

He rolls his eyes and grabs the doorknob to go back inside the classroom, but I stop him before he can.

"I don't need to be caught skipping, Clare. I'm on probation with this school."

I sigh. "We need to talk..please."

He looks inside Mr. Perino's class. "Fine, but only because talking with you is better than learning about the population growth of China."

I smile softly and lead him outside in the courtyard with him trailing behind. We step outside and he shuts the door behind us. I sit down on the wooden bench, and he proceeds.

He clears his throat, not looking at me. His blue-green eyes are locked on something else, something I'm not sure of.

"So what do you want to talk to me about?"

My heartbeat quickens, and so I sigh heavily.

"About last night..the kiss."

He nods, looking at me, and bowes his head after.

"Great, you regret it already."

I shake my head and scoot closer to him.

"I-I don't regret it, Fitz."

"Then, what's there to talk about?" He asks matter-of-factly, annoyed with me most likely.

I bite my lip nervously. "I'm scared of what people will say about us."

I look at him, shocked. I expect him to be mad; instead he looks guilty.

His demeanor changes and he grips my right hand.

"What do you think they'll say?"

I sigh and mutter. "That I had something to do with you bringing a knife to Vegas Night."

He frowns and lets go of my hand.

"But they, whoever they is, don't know anything except what they heard on the news that night. And who cares what _they_ think. "

I cross my arms self-conciously. "I care."

He gulps. "Why?"

I raise my eyebrows. "Because..I just do."

He laughs. "Well, I've learned not to. With all the rumors and shit that people are saying about me, if I did care I'd be miserable. There's no need in me being miserable. I know the truth and that's enough for me."

I look at him regretfully. "I'm sorry."

He shakes his head and squeezes my hand, making me smile to myself.

"Don't be sorry. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, Clare. Even if you think it'll upset me or hurt me or whatever, I still want you to know I'm here. I'm always here for you."

I grin shyly and exhale lightly. I open my mouth to say something in return, but I don't.

There was no need to.

* * *

I look over at Jake across the dinner table, who was multitasking with eating a chicken sandwhich and completing an essay.

I stop typing on my laptop.

"Hey, Jake, how do you feel about Mark Fitzgerald?"

He thinks for a minute, before responding to my random question.

"Didn't he bring a knife to school last year?"

"Yeah, how'd you know about that? You enrolled at Degrassi months after that."

He chuckles. "How could I not? Everyone's _always_ talking about it. In the halls, during class, after school, before school, at lunch, on FaceRange. It never ends."

I ask nervously. "So do you have classes with him?"

He nods. "Yeah, he sits next to me in Physics."

I press on and shut my laptop as nonchalontly as possible. "So, what do you think about him?"

He shrugs, his mind mainly paying attention to his essay.

"I don't know. He barely talks and he minds his own, unless the teacher calls on him. I kind of feel bad for him, to be honest, but he did have it coming. I mean, did he really think he could bring a knife to school and get away with it?"

I make a 'hm' noise and grab my laptop to head upstairs.

"Clare."

Jake calls my name and I stop at the bottom of the stairs.

I ask. "What?"

"Why?"

I shrug. "Oh, just curious."

He doesn't say anything and abides his essay. I walk up the stairs and into my room, shutting my door behind me. I plop on my fluffy bed and sigh heavily.

My name is Clare Edwards, and Fitz may have a point of not caring what people think but damn will it be hard not to.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**~Announcement Time:**

**I have made a twitter that I'll actually use (unlike the last time I made one which ended with me deleting it ;P). I'll try to go on as often as possible, letting you guys know when I'll be updating, maybe post some sneak peaks.. Yeah? :D **

***My twitter username is xNoUsername**

**Or if Twitter isn't your style, I also made an instagram. This will just be me posting random shit, nothing to do with fanfiction. My goal is to kind of assure you guys that I'm not some robot or whatever. I want you all to feel like you can talk to me, etc. ~Not trying to be creepy..**

***My Instagram username is xnousernameneededx**

**I tried keeping them the same, but I couldn't make the usernames the same because on one website a name wouldn't be available and so forth. So sorry about that. I kinda gave up on trying to make them the same. :P**

**I'd love to hear from you guys, so review and follow me if you get the chance!**

**-No Username Needed**


End file.
